You can all call it Valentine’s Day, but I’ll be calling it Thursday.
So I was at the mall earlier and this girl came up to me and said “I like your shoes,” and I said, “I like your face.” She stared at the ground for a second and said “I’m single,” and I was like “Not anymore.”
Please do not make the mistake of confusing my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, and my attitude depends on who YOU are.
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s usually just me laughing at my own jokes because I’m so hilarious.
Once you go black, you go black for another 4 years.
Suicide doesn’t end the pain. It just gives it to someone else.
how one looks down at their beautiful new born baby that they carried for 9 months and spent so many hours giving birth to and realise that this thing is going to change their life in so many amazing ways and then proceed to name it Laquisha…
Just because someone has cancer does not automatically make them “beautiful”, at least aesthetically. Just because someone is in a gay relationship does not automatically make them in love. Someone with a disability is not automatically a better person than someone who is able. Facebook groups promoting these ideas need to shut the fuck up.
"that’s the sound of everyone going out, partying, losing their virginity and doing things they’re not supposed to because they think it’s bad ass while i’m here at home 24/7, seven days a week, staying up late, ignoring messages and phone calls, blogging shit up, having a Netflix marathon by myself locked in my room while my parents question my path and success in life, thinking about it at 2:15 AM, having a junk food buffet, killing a bitch in my mind while listening to good music, sleeping in till 3 PM."
my friends wondering if i’m dead, & guess what!
I fucking love it.
when i’m looking at my sexy self in the mirror while washing my hands or something, I’ll start doing weird shit like smiling creepily or waggling my eyebrows, and then stop suddenly when I realize that stuff like that is probably why I have no friends.
For example, one day you’d live a day in the life of an Olympic gold medalist, the day after in the life of a researcher in Antarctica, after that a day in the life of a child living through poverty in Africa, then a day in the life of a billionaire, etc. It would really put your own life in perspective
It’s ridiculous that people get annoyed with unattractive people for thinking they’re attractive. What is so wrong with someone thinking positively about themselves? Are we really so controlling that we believe we have the right to tell someone else how to feel about themselves, or so desperate that this is how we make ourselves feel better?
Check fridge. Nothing. Check pantry nothing. Lower standards & start again
Sure, it might be a bit, but at least we don’t segregate people like only about 50 or 60 years ago or kill women because they might be a witch like only a few hundred years ago. Society has only improved, sitting there talking about how fucked up society today is doesn’t make you sound mature, cool, hipster, or anything except that you complain about something but do nothing to improve it
before you do it you should photoshop yourself out of all the pictures you can, burn all your previous possessions, and hack and delete all files of yourself, and then drown yourself in the ocean where your body will never be found, so all your friends will be like “Hey, what happened to Andy? Did … did Andy ever exist? Did we just imagine him?”